Separation Anxiety-When You Can't Leave Your Dog

Sad French Bulldog Puppy

WHAT IS SEPARATION ANXIETY?

You get your purse. You walk to the door. Your dog is following close behind, but his ears are down. He’s giving you “the face.” You’re leaving.

You steel yourself and walk out the door, guilt gnawing at you. You stand for a moment and listen for the inevitable whimper, which becomes a steady whine. You hear scratching at the door. Your heart breaks. You don’t want to leave, but you need to go.

You are not alone. Separation anxiety is one of the top four issues we dog trainers are called upon to help with. And it’s not easy. To understand why, first let’s talk a little about what separation anxiety (SA for short) is.

IT'S NOT JUST SADNESS

SA in dogs is not just sadness at being left alone. It’s much more than that. Think of it like a panic attack in a human. It is an involuntary physical reaction to being alone. Your dog is not able to reason that you will return. They are in an almost primal state, which is why they often tear up furniture, urinate, chew door frames and crate doors and bark like they are being tortured. They are. 

This blog is not meant to be an all-inclusive resource on the diagnosis and treatment of SA, but my goal is to educate and provide you with some vital information and resources to help.

WHAT CAUSES IT? IS IT MY FAULT?

According to the recognized authority and bestselling author on this topic, Malena DeMartini-Price, here are some important things you should know:

1. It is NOT YOUR fault your dog suffers from SA. You didn’t cause it by spending too much time together! Stop blaming yourself (and COVID…)

2. It IS treatable!

3. Dogs don’t “grow out of it”

4. Getting another dog won’t cure it, since it doesn’t treat the underlying cause

5. There is a genetic component to SA; some dogs are prone to it and others aren’t (just like anxiety and panic in people)

6. SA seems to be more common in shelter dogs, but it’s hard to know if the dogs were relinquished BECAUSE they suffered from SA, or if the trauma and turmoil of change and loss contributed to flipping the switch in a predisposed dog.

7. Dogs who suffer from SA do better when not crated or otherwise confined

8. You should not punish your dog for “acting out,” since it’s not a voluntary choice on their part

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

1. Speak with your veterinarian, or, ideally, a veterinary behaviorist. Very often, getting your dog on some medication early on will help with the behavioral portion of the treatment (desensitization/counter-conditioning).

2. Seek the help of a certified separation anxiety “trainer” (CSAT). You can find one by clicking this link.

3. Consider taking the self-directed course for guardians: Mission Possible, which will arm you with the tools you need to start behavioral treatment if you can’t afford professional help.

4. Know that the process of treatment and recovery is a slow one, but well worth it for the well-being you and your dog will have for the rest of their life!

IF YOU STILL NEED HELP...

I hope you found this helpful. If you have more questions or need help with a referral, just reach out. I’m in your corner!